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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Ayam Macho


Ceritanya berkisar di sebuah ladang penternakan ayam yang terletak di Gunung Semanggul.tentang sebuah peternakan ayam. Disana ada 5 Ayam betina dan seekor ayam jalak (kira ayam jantan macholah) yang umurnya sudah lanjut dimamah masa (cewah-cewah cam lam novel percintaan lak).

Karena merasa bahwa ayam jalak yang sudah tua tadi sudah melewati masa suburnya, si pemilik ladang tersebut memutuskan untuk membeli seekor ayam jalak lagi yang masih muda, tampan, segak, macho dan yang sewaktu nganya. Dengan secara tidak sengaja hal ini membuatkan si ayam jalak tua
menjadi merasa tersaing. Lalu bibit2 cemburu dan hasat dengki menguasai dirinya, mulalah diyer mengatur srategi. Lalu terjadi percakapan seperti ini :
Si ayam jalak tua : Eh, kamu jangan serakah sgt kat sini. Ayam betinanya kan ada 25. Kamu boleh ambil yang 15, bakinya bagi aku.
Si ayam jalak muda: Banyak hensem ko punya muka,tua tak sedarkan diri.Hang tu dah tua dah tak larat dah so semua untuk aku sahaja.

Si ayam jalak tua : Eh a…berlagak tul mamat seekor ni (jalak tua bercakap lam ati yer). Seper kata aku tua tak larat lagi, ko jgn pandang rendah pada aku, kang aku sekeh kang… O.klah, aku maleh nak gaduh ngan budak hingusan cam ko ni (jalak tua, menunjukkan eksennyer) so apa kata kalau kita pertontonkan kemanchoan kita ngan mengadakan satu pertandingan. Siapa yang menang boleh ambil semua ayam betina yang ada kat sini ayam ini. Yang kalah kirim salam.

Si ayam jalak muda: Aku.. aku boleh sahaja, pantang dicabar ni. Kita nak buat pertandingan apa ni… cabut bulu ayam ker (jalak muda membuat lawak loya beruk yer)

Si ayam jalak tua : Dak’ah! Senang jer pertandingan lumba lari. Sambil tersenyum kambing,

Si ayam jalak muda:Set

Si ayam jalak tua : Lumbanya 400M. tapi karena aku sudah tua, aku minta untuk lari dulu di depanmu 50 meter.

Si ayam jalak muda: Boleh (dengan penuh keyakinan).

Maka pertandingan pun dimulai. Ayam jalak tua lari dulu 50 meter baru ayam jalak yang muda lari menyusul dengan kecepatan kuasa extra gaban yang mengkagumkan. Eh, baru kurang 1 meter menyusul, si ayam jalak muda ditembak langsung oleh pemilik peternakan.
Kenapa?????

Kata Pemilik : “Kurang ajar. INI AYAM JALAK-HOMOSEKS NI. Asal setiap kali aku beli, dapat yang macam ni SUKA SANGAT KEJAR-KEJAR AYAM JALAK TUA AKU”

NiLAI MORAL : Jgn berlagak ngan org tua (depa banyak trick yer,) HORMATILAH ORANG YANG LEBIH TUA DARI KITA..

Naz : Makin tua, makin berisi.. apakah itu??

111 comments:

joegrimjow said...

tua2 banyak pengalaman

Naz said...

Joe..
tp kdng2 org muda pun bnyk pngalaman. mcm ko ni... muda2 dah jd leader...

hysMan.. said...

hahahahhahaa...
pengalaman depa dr segi ape ye???
:)
giler gaban punya ayam..
hahahahaa...

a.b geldofg said...

lelaki lagi tua lagi bst

Amieynna Amin said...

ayam tua yg bijak..
hehehe..
cian si ayam muda..
dfitnah homoseksual..
trus dhukum bunuh..

=)

Naz said...

Man..
pengalaman hidup la bro...
saper la yg reka crita ni.. otak sengal betul..

Naz said...

Ab..
bak kelapa, lagu tua lg bnyk santannya... hhehe...

Naz said...

Amina..
ayam pun pandai nak hidup.. hehehe...

Sulela said...

Bijak sungguh ayam tua itu. Kalau aku dapat, aku sembelih buat rendang ayam...kekekeke

hysMan.. said...

huahahahhaa....
sengal2 pon ade isi juga..
hehe..baguih..haha..

FiNa said...

otak sengal????

aku tak penah dgr pon ade otak yang sakit sengal2??

Naz said...

Lela, ayam tua kalo wat lauk.. liat. hehehe..

Naz said...

Man..
itulah namanya sengal2 berisi. makin sengal, makin berisi... hahaha...

Redynne™ said...

ayam veteran yg bijak lagik macho..

ayam muda yg sengal lagi homo.. :P


*lela, msk rendang ayam veteran letak sudu, jgn lupe ye..

*naz, x pndai msk mmg liat..hehe

Naz said...

Fina..
banyak Fina.. kat tampoi berlambak... hensem2 belaka... mcm sifu praktikal ko tu.. hahaha...

Naz said...

Redynne..
mcm mana nak wat ayam liat jadi lembut? ada petua ker??

Redynne™ said...

Naz,

petuanye..campak 1-2 btg sudu besi
dgn lemah lembut kedlm kuali@priuk..
Insyaallah, lembut le daging@ayam yg liat tu..

ingat, sudu besi bukan plestik ye.. :P

*org2 dulu mmg bijaksana..

FiNa said...

yeke??
skarang gak aku g sane!!!

eih!!
nanti kalo aku da sampai sane, aku nak cakap ape kat sifu praktikal tu???
haaaaaaaaa...
aku tau, aku nak tanya,
kak nazarina, mahukah akak menjadi isteri terakhir kpd abg naz?
hehehe

Naz said...

Redynne...
hmmm, agak menarik. mungkin kalo letak sudu dlm kuali tu akan menyebabkan terjadinya tindakbalas elektrolisis antara sudu besi dng daging ayam. hmmm, boleh try ni... tp, bila ya? hehehe...

Naz said...

Fina..
mana ko, x der pun??

nnti ko boleh ckp kat cikgu tu, nak buat praktikal apa cikgu?

kak nazarina kata x mau. dia nak kapel dng cikgu praktikal... hahaha..

hysMan.. said...

Naz,
dan sebab itu juga dipanggil sengal ayam..hehe..

klu letak sudu besi dlm periuk barangkali boleh membatu pemanasan sempurna air rebusan daging ayam tersebut..besi bahan konduktor haba yg terbaek..so org dulu mmg bijak tak mcm ayam sengal itu..
hehe..

klu Fina pi tampoi meh datang umah aku dulu..dekat ajo nih haa..nnt boleh aku bawak die pi sifu praktikalnya itu??
hehe

Naz said...

sengal ayam x per Man. jng sengal khinzir. nnti phobia selesema khinzir akan dtg secara tiba2...

org2 zaman dulu memang bijak.

eh, tampoi dekat dng rumah hang ker?

Redynne™ said...

ha... pandai pon hysman...

mekasih tulun jwbkn ye.. :)

Sulela said...

Naz, time raya, mak aku lebih suka buat rendang guna ayam tua. Macam yang Redynne cakap tu, masukkan sudu sebatang dua. Orang kat sini letak akar pandan la, buah keras la, daun betik la...macam2 cara. Ayam tua lebih sedap buat rendang tau...hehehe

FiNa said...

yolah..

hysMan.. said...

sengal babi tu lagi teruk bro..
ade satu kisah babi nih,adekah patut die biokan si betina babi sorg2 kat situ..dasat betul si babi itu..huh..

tampoi kat jb nih dekat jugak le dr umah aku nih..dlm 20min je..
hehe..nape??nak pi melawat ke??

Naz said...

Lela..
iyer ke? baru pokcik tau. sedapnya rendang ayam cicah lemang di kala raya menjelang...

Naz said...

Fina...
apa yg iyolah??

Naz said...

Man..
apa kes dng babi betina sekor tu? kenapa babi jantan tu membiarkan babi betina tersebut berkeseekoran? adakah mereka bergaduh?

Naz said...

Man.. x naklah aku mlawat. panjat gunung ledang lg best..

hysMan.. said...

klu nak tau kesahnya..bace entry kat blog aku tuh..hehee

gunung ledang???yok!!!!

Naz said...

Man...
ooo... nanti aku ke sana... :)

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